Silent Screams (and other odd sounds)

This is what I'm thinking RIGHT NOW. It may not be what I'm thinking tomorrow.

An Attitude of Gratitude

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After the past few weeks of the STAY AT HOME order and the extension to May 1st and possibly beyond  to STAY AT HOME and continue social distancing I felt an immediate cloud come over me.  I am having a hard time staying away from people as it is (but I do) but the jolt (that I was expecting) hit another chord inside of me.  I’ve been inside of my house since May 22, 2020 and the thought that I’m going to be in my house alone except for my 2 dogs was overwhelming at least.  I think I even shed a tear.

This morning, I woke up with the same dread and discomfort that I had the night before.  I needed to get rid of it, but how?  My house is clean, the closets are cleaned out, where to I go from here?  On the bottom of my computer, I found my answer.  Taped to the monitor is a prayer that I say when I’m stressed or depressed.  I don’t know who wrote it but I am grateful he did.  The prayer is short and sweet so you can say it over and over if you need to.  It goes like this:  “God, please remove this fear from me and give me a vision of what You would have me be.”  Sometimes I have to say it over and over until I feel a tangible relaxation of my fear and anxiety.  It’s a small price to pay but a huge pay out.

Saying this prayer this morning has given me a whole new attitude.  It hooked me to write a gratitude list of my own.  Maybe if you read this article, you might even find some gratitude outside of this pandemic we are facing.  Feel free to post your gratitudes in the comments because in today’s condition, everybody needs them.

I’m grateful that I had a husband of 40 years before he died and went to be with his Higher Power.  He was kind, caring and compassionate, the best husband God could have selected for me.

I’m grateful that out of the union between my husband and I, we were blessed with two children who grew into two strong women.  They continually amaze me with their knowledge and compassion for others and for me.  I am grateful for technology that allows me to see their faces when I talk to them on the phone.  It’s just like the Jetsons but I don’t have one of those things to fix my hair before I talk to anyone.

I am grateful for my brother and his family who live behind me.  Their support during this time of quarantine has been invaluable.  They buy me dinner and then throw it over the fence for me to eat.  Just a little bit of levity there!

I am grateful for my dogs, Roscoe and Chloe, who keep me moving at at time I could just lay down and melt into my couch.  They give me “people” to talk to and they are learning!  They have quickly caught on when I say, “I think I’ll make myself lunch.”  That’s when my Doberkids fly off their perch and are right by my side.

I am grateful that when I woke this morning, I heard the birds sining outside of my bedroom window.  I had to smile because so often, I don’t har the birds singing, I just see them flying away.  They serenaded me for quite some time and I loved every minute of it.

According to the CDC guidelines, I’m considered a high risk person, but right now, I am healthy.  I don’t have any chest congestion, cough, temperature or body aches (other than what old age brings you).    I am grateful that my brother’s family is safe and healthy as well as my Aunt who is recovering from a heart attach and her family as well.

I am grateful to my ER family who is still maintaining the front lines of this disease and will be for a long time.  I pray that they get the proper rest and nutrition they need.  To be honest, I pray for them all the time.  I pray that they get the PPE they need to survive and continue the brave fight they are enduring.

I am grateful for all my Al-Anon friends who have set up Zoom meeting so we can continue to fellowship without touching. I have to admit, the only thing lacking in the Zoom meetings is the big hug you get from seeing everyone.  I miss those hugs.

I don’t want to go on and on about what I’m grateful for because this morning there is a long list but I would be grateful if you would comment on at least one thing you are grateful for today.  It certainly has changed my attitude, does your attitude need a changing too?Social Isolation.jpg

 

Author: seemeye

Wannabe extraordinaire. Genius by birth; fool by nature. A compilation of my life experiences. I think so much it makes my head hurt.

8 thoughts on “An Attitude of Gratitude

  1. I am grateful for the wonderful friends that I can sit and “zoom talk” with.The friends who accept me as I am, inclusive of assets as well as faults. The friends that I can be with and talk about nothing at all or solve the world’s problems (even though our solutions stay with us!). I appreciated friends as I have grown however continued friends are like gold during this stage of my life. Thanks to you, Carmen, for being one of my “gold nuggets”.

  2. I am grateful that I have a home to “stay.home” in. I am grateful for spring, sunshine,daffodils, friends to call, and my family. I am especially grateful that God is in control. I am still healthy though I am high risk.

  3. I am grateful for the sunshine and flowers that give me hope and also for the solid foundation of friends that call and check on me. I am grateful for my sponsor , because I know if things get overwhelming she is just a phone call away.

  4. At this very moment I’m grateful for your words. They have resonated with me and turned my frown upside down. My morning didn’t start so well, but the day is looking up. Thankful for you, my cousin, and so many more kind and loving people in my world.

  5. I am grateful for my husband. Even though his illness and physical limitations he tries his best to enjoy his life to the fullest. I am grateful for my daughter and son-in-law and so thankful for my grandchildren. They are the air I breath. Many more things but lastly I am thankful for the writer of this space that gives me time to slow down and take note of the gifts I am given.

  6. Thank you for bringing all those into my gratitude list. Have a great day.

  7. This morning, I am grateful for the sunshine and the hope that it may dry up the swamp in my yard so that I don’t have to wear boots to go outside. I am grateful that spring is bringing out the buds on the trees and the teeny, tiny lilacs on the bush out back. I am grateful that even though I have remained housebound for the most part, I have been able to remain productive and have many projects here that should keep me that way through the quarantine (and beyond) 😁 I am grateful for my faithful companion, Smokey, who is cuter than your average dog. I am grateful for the host of ‘framily’ that God has provided for me who reach out to check on me and who are only a phone call away. I am grateful for my kids and grandkids, in laws and outlaws and siblings, etc. I really could go on and on, but this is way more than the one you asked for. I couldn’t pick just one, because they are all top on the list. Mostly, I am grateful for the God who loves me and watches out for me and keeps me safe and sane. I am blessed beyond measure. Have a wonderful, blessed day!

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