Silent Screams (and other odd sounds)

This is what I'm thinking RIGHT NOW. It may not be what I'm thinking tomorrow.


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Landry: Today and Everyday.

While I’m sitting here trying to learn how WordPress works, I’m doing my laundry.  I don’t know about most of you, but I’m sure my laundry has sex and multiples while I’m not looking.  I’m sure my socks do.  How else could I have so many mismatched socks?  I’m sure they are having offspring.

Landry has got to be the never ending saga of any person who takes care of a household.  Just when the laundry is all done and put away; a dirty t-shirt shows up creating a seed offering for other dirty garments to join him in a sexual ritual designed to go forth and multiple the earth with dirty clothes.

The ritual begins subtlety as soon as the empty laundry basket hits the floor.  Out of nowhere, a dirty sock is spotted creeping just under the bed.  Grabbing the lone sock and turning to deposit it in the basket my eye spies a t-shirt hurling through the air making a bank shot off the dresser and landing in the basket for 2 points.  A low rumble begins as jeans are drop-kicked into the laundry basket along with mated socks and undergarments.  The crowd becomes naked as clothes are being stripped from the bodies of the by-standers.

From a distance a low scream can beImage heard as the clothes pile high in first one basket and then another and then another.  The screams are getting louder and louder.  I can almost feel the distant screams in my own throat as the laundry ritual builds to a frenzy.  Oh my God!  How can I stop this madness?  The insidiousness of this pseudo-sexual laundry ritual is manifesting its diabolical head and threatening to take over my house!  The distant screams are getting closer and closer; my throat becoming more strained as the sound intensifies in my ears.

The screams are pounding in my ears.  My throat becomes sore as the sound intensifies.  Picking up the now full basket that I just placed on the floor moments ago, my laundry dance begins once again.  Carrying my heavy load to the washing machine my mouth closes.  The screaming seems to have stopped for now.