Sometimes, life seems to hand over a certain fruit…..
…and sometimes you will hear people say…. just make –
Sometimes…that fruit made into a refreshing drink gives me heartburn.
What happens then?
Category Archives: Random Thoughts and Feelings
A Sex Offender Lives Here
According to an article written by Bryan Robinson of ABC News, Judge J. Manuel Banales of Texas reviewed the records of all sex offenders placed on probation in his court in the last decade and ordered 14 of the offenders to put up a 2 foot wide, 18 inch tall placard that reads, “Danger: Registered Sex Offender Lives Here” in their front yard. The signs also contains a list of phone numbers to report suspicious behavior. In addition to the signs, the offenders were also given bumper stickers for their cars and portable signs with suction cups to put in car rear windows when they were riding in someone else’s auto. According to Banales, “These laws [sex offender notification laws] are designed to protect the community.” Banales went on to say that “Children are the most vulnerable of any of us. Many of the victims of these crimes never get over it. The whole idea is to protect the community, protect the children, and if targeting these offenders is what’s necessary than that’s what we’ll have to do.” Every state and federal government have “Megan’s law” statutes mandating community notification if sex offenders move into a neighborhood. While sex offenders names, addresses, photos and criminal records are available on state sexual offenders Web sites, Banales thought that this was inadequate because not everyone reads newspapers or has Internet access. (http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id+90496&page=1, Bryan Robinson)
Recently, more than a few people on social media sites have been publishing the sign that Judge J. Manuel Banales has deemed to be necessary to keep our communities safe. While I understand that almost all of us find sex crimes despicable and would like to find a way to make sure these crimes do not happen in our country let alone in our communities, I’m not sure I can get on the bandwagon with the “sign” campaign. Sex crimes are certainly heinous and spending the legal amount of time in a penitentiary is certainly warranted, just as prison time is warranted to someone who has taken a life. On a basic level, I think most of us would be able to agree that whether a person is actually murdered and dead or raped, beaten and left alive, both have lost their “lives.”
A murderer, depending on the degree, can “do his time” in confinement and be released a rehabilitated man to live among the general population; not so a sexual offender. A sexual offender “does his time” and then is released into the general population branded by a web site and possibly a sign placed in his front yard. A sex offender’s neighbors receive letters warning them of the potential danger of living next to a sexual preditor; one does not receive the same notification if a murderer happens to move into your neighborhood. I understand that most believe that a sexual preditor can never be completely rehabilitated. If that is true, and I believe the research supports such a belief, does placing a sign in a front yard keep them from committing these sexual crimes? Maybe, just maybe, the only real safe place to be from a sexual preditor is in the neighborhood with displays the sign; certainly any intelligent sex offender (and most are intelligent) would leave the vicinity of their visual brand. If the courts of law deem that a murderer is a threat to the population at large, that person, more than likely, is never released from prison. If the threat of the sexual preditor is great, shouldn’t the same safe-guard apply?
Please, do not think that I wish the offenders rights supercede the rights of the victim. Not only no, but hell no! The rights of the innocent should always prevail. The problem with saying (and believing that) is that there are more than “one” set of innocents. What about the innocent family members (mothers, fathers, wives, children, sisters, brothers) who have this sign displayed in their front yard for their neighbors to see? What was their crime? What did they do to deserve this punishment? Does merely loving a person who has committed a hideous crime automatically sentence them to the same punishment as the one who actually committed the crime?
No, I am not a victim of a sexual crime. No, my family has not been the victim of any sexual crimes. I also know that since I do not have first hand knowledge of such a thing, that some may think my opinion holds no value. Does one really have to experience a situation to have a valid opinion? Maybe, maybe not. I hold the opinion that there are some things I never want to experience.
I know I take the road less traveled on this subject. I know my opinion is not a popular one. I am sorry if that offends you but I hope my words have at least made you think beyond the popular opinion.
The Way It Used to Be…..
I have to admit it used to irritate me a little bit when my parents used to say, “I remember when …..” followed by some better way of doing things or how much better the “olden days” were. I remember saying to them, “Come on, things couldn’t have been better, you had the depression, the “big” war and you didn’t even have colored TV. Yep, those “good old days” must have been magnificent,” I would say sarcastically as I rolled my eyes and vowed silently never to say anything so ridiculous to my own children if I ever had any.
As time would have it, I grew up and started to hear myself echo the same words I used to hear my parents say long ago. Of course, when I was in early adulthood, I would rationalize when I said those things thinking, “at least when I say them, they are true.” Life has a way of sneaking up on you when you are not looking and by the time you are in middle adulthood you suddenly realize that what you are saying is exactly the same things your parents said way back when you didn’t believe them. Life is funny like that.
So, you might ask yourself, what brought on this line of thinking? Strangely enough, the purchase and installation of new appliances has forced me to see things the way my parents probably did when they said, “I remember when…”
Recently, my dishwasher and microwave went kaput which forced me to start looking for these new appliances. Being brainwashed by powerful advertisement, I basically knew what I wanted when I went out to window shop for what I thought would be a simple task of comparative price shopping and the purchase of my new appliances. Of course, nothing is ever as simple as it seems and the simple task of picking out appliances and having someone install them has left a bitter taste in my mouth when it comes to big business.
When I was a young adult, when my appliances broke down, I went to local small businessmen who made their livelihood being reputable people who needed and wanted your business to stay afloat. More than likely, these businessmen lived in your neighborhood and you went to school with their children. A deal was made with a handshake until the paperwork could be finished. More than likely your appliances were delivered and installed (free of charge) the same day. The guarantee you received was backed by reputation and you didn’t have to pay extra for it.
As I’m sure you know, small business has been largely replaced by the big business chains who sell appliances at much more affordable prices. These big chains price match so that shopping is really made easy. All you have to do is go to the chain you want to give your money to and tell them what you want and how much you would save if you bought it at Store B and the price is matched! What is lost when the big chains take your money and the small businessman can’t afford to compete anymore? What is gained by purchasing appliances at lower prices?
Recently I have found out what is gained by purchasing from a large chain. I gained aggravation. I went to the retail store just to purchase an appliance. Here is a little of how the conversation went.
Me: I need a new dishwasher. I would like the new Frigidaire dishwasher. Do you have that?
Store: Why yes we do. It is right over here and it is only $……
Me: Do you have it in black?
Store: Yes it does come in black but we have to order it. Can you hold on a minute while I take this call?
Me: Sure.
Store: (after 5 minutes). I’m sorry, I had to take that call.
Me: It’s okay. Now, about the dishwasher.
Store: Which one did you want again?
Me: The new Frigidaire.
Store: Oh yes, that’s right. Have you seen it yet?
Me: Yes, you just showed me.
Store: That’s right. I’m sorry. I talk to so many people in a day it is hard to keep things straight sometimes. I am expected to do so much. Much more than I used to do. To tell you the truth, I just started in this department a few days ago and I’m still trying to get used to things. (Phone rings) Do you mind if I take this call.
Me: No.
Store: Ok. I’m sorry that took so long.
Me: It’s okay. I think I’m going to look elsewhere. Thank you for your time.
Off I go to another big retail store and the conversation goes something like this:
Store: Can I help you?
Me: Yes. Do you have the new Frigidaire dishwasher? Store B has it for $….
Store: Yes we do. We can match their price.
Me. Good.
Store: Now, is your current dishwasher hardwired or a plug-in?
Me: I don’t know.
Store: You have to know that information.
Me: What is the difference?
Store: If it is hardwired we won’t install it. You have to have a general contractor to install it.
Me: ….and I would have to pay for that?
Store: Why yes.
Me: How would I know if it is hardwired or not?
Store: You have to pull the dishwasher out.
Me: Really?
Store: What we can do is deliver the dishwasher to your house (for a fee of course) and pull out your old dishwasher. It if is hardwired, we will leave the new dishwasher there and set you up with a general contractor to install your dishwasher.
Me: (Getting agitated) Let me see if I have this straight. You will sell me this dishwasher for a great price…..but you will not install it if my dishwasher is hardwired. You will deliver this dishwasher for a fee and leave it in the middle of my kitchen if, when you pull out my old dishwasher, you find that it is hardwired. Let’s say it is hardwired. I take it that you will not disconnect the old dishwasher then. So now I have a old dishwasher and a new dishwasher in the middle of my kitchen while I wait for you to hire a general contractor to come in and install my dishwasher. Is that correct?
Store: That’s usually the way it’s done ma’am.
Me: …and I have to pay for the installation. Is that correct?
Store: Umm…yes.
Me: …and tell me again how much this dishwasher is costing me.
Store: All the major chains work like this ma’am. We are no different from the others.
Me: …and that makes me want to purchase a dishwasher from your chain how……?
How irritating it is to purchase a new appliance only to find that you have to spend the money saved to hire a contractor to finish the deal. How can big business get away with selling something they don’t install? When did we, as the consumers, allow this to happen?
I’ll tell you when I allowed this to happen. I allowed it the very first time I purchased an appliance from someone other than my local businessman. I have no one to blame but myself.
Tired after a long day of work, feet aching and body weary, Rosa Parks rested her bones on the seat of a bus only to be told that she was “less than” all the “whites” riding the bus and she had to give her seat up to a white person. Perhaps out of exhaustion, perhaps out of just being plain tired of being considered “less than” other humans, Rosa held fast and refused to stand. Rosa sat and started a movement that could not be stopped; a movement that should not have even been an issue. Rosa was a God-created woman who bled the same color as any other white, yellow, red, or black person. When will the human race realize that each of us are humans who hurt, who cry, who bleed, and who love?
I can’t help who and what I love. In fact, I pray daily that God will instill in me the capacity to love as He loved. I don’t know for sure, but I’m thinking that the God that I hold dear to me loves mankind. The God I hold dear is no respecter of persons; the God I love loves me just as I am. I can’t believe that if God loves me as I am, he can not or will not love others just as they are. God loves murderers and thieves just as He loves me; God loves heterosexuals and homosexuals alike. He loves all these people as equally as He loves His church.
Now, the time has come, that we must petition the government to tell us it is okay who we love, how we love and who we can or cannot marry. This issue, as was the issue with Rosa Parks, should not even be an issue. It should not be “black” rights or “gay” rights, it should be “equal HUMAN rights.” There are so many other “issues” that demand our attention. Perhaps focusing on hunger, education, and our elderly and disabled would serve our resources better than legislating something that does not affect anyone but the two people involved. The only marriage that impacts me is mine.
Long ago, a man started a revolution when he decided that Jews were not fit to live. Hilter herded these people into boxcars to haul them to the ovens of ignorance. It was ignorance that lead to the annihilation of many HUMAN Jews. This man, who was adored by a multitude, also murdered Catholics, elderly, and homosexuals. The legislation of today is not calling for the holocaust of human life, but before the killing of millions of Jews started, legislation was enacted to keep them “under control.” Please don’t tell me “it can’t happen here” because it did. It was not too long ago that black men and women were whipped, hung by trees until dead and crosses were burned. In fact, the KKK is alive and well right here in this land that we love.
Out of ignorance, we feared educating the blacks, out of ignorance we allowed the annihilation of Jews before we said stop, and now, out of ignorance, this nation does not want to allow two souls who are bound by love to be bound legally. The things that “mainstream” marriages take for granted, such as being covered by your spouses medical insurance, social security benefits, death benefits, and even being called a spouse and thus a family member, are being withheld because two people, who happen to be the same sex, found love. The thought of excluding people because of something like being in love feels wrong to me on so many levels.
I will leave you with the thoughts of a man much wiser than me.
First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out–
Because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out–
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out–
Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me–and there was no one left to speak for me. (Martin Niemöller)
Bad Things Only Happen to……
Bad things only happen in “bad” neighborhoods. People who rob, kill and rape are only from poverty stricken areas. Only inner city areas have brutal crimes. If a child goes to a good school and participates in sports, they will never harm or be harmed. The nice boy, girl or child next door could never harm anyone. The time for delusional thoughts is over. The war of all people, of all neighborhoods, of all schools has trespassed into my back yard while I was dreaming of white picket fences.
Friday evening may find most of a community watching the high school football team as young athletes run down the field toward the goal posts and victory only to party hardy on Saturday night at the expense of a young girl who had been drugged, awakening the next morning with her brutal rape filling the airwaves of a social media. Young lives, innocent and not innocent, will never be the same again.
A young boy enters a high school cafeteria donning a gun where students are resting from their morning studies and catching up with the usual high school social pleasantries. Suddenly, a spray of bullets rip through the chatter; the distinctive sulfur smell filling the air as the students scurry for cover only to see their classmates fall to their death in front of their eyes. Not one of those students will be the same again.
A young man engages in a relationship with a young woman. The dating scene between the two of them starts off pleasant at first but eventually fizzles out. The young woman begins to obsess about the young man; her mind perhaps changing slowly from affection to pure jealously ends up leaving him in a pool of his own blood.
Two pre-teen boys sneak up on a mother and her infant son demanding money while waving guns. When the money was not forthcoming because the mother had none to give; the young boys threaten to kill the infant if no money is given over and they follow through on their threat, leaving a mother to mourn her dead child.
These stories are a few of the “news-worthy” items that sounded from my television just this morning. None of these events occurred in “bad neighborhoods.” None of these events occurred in poverty stricken neighborhoods. None of these events happened in bad schools or inner city areas. They all took place in your back yard. They all took place by the child who lives next door.
Love in the Driver’s Seat
My husband and I took our children out to dinner this evening. It was such a wonderful experience. There are few things that can fill your heart with joy and love more than watching your children laugh and experience the complete joy that being a part of a family can bring. I don’t know if I was being nostalgic or what, but the experience of merely eating dinner with my family nearly brought me to tears. I loved watching the interchange of loving conversation between my daughters. Tonight, even “touchy subjects” didn’t bring angry words but a compromise of being at peace in the moment with each other.
After dinner, my husband and I drove home in relative silence. Our silence was not from anger but of perfect contentment of being comfortable with each other. The wordless conversation between us was born of the realization that we did not have to entertain each other with meaningless chatter; we knew instinctively that the silent conversation was the utter ease that we felt with each other.
As my husband drove home, I looked at him in utter awe. Sitting beside me was a man who loves me despite all my imperfections. In fact, a little piece of me thought that he might actually like those flaws in my character that make me uniquely me. My heart swelled with gratitude that God sent this man to me. God chose this man for me. He chose him specifically for me. Wow!
As I sat beside my husband and gazed at him, I thought about his multitude of loving attributes. He is kind, considerate, compassionate, loving, caring, giving, and so many other things. The list is endless. He caters to me endlessly and thinks nothing of going that extra mile to make me happy. He hurts when I hurt, he laughs when I laugh, and he loves God.
Watching his face as he drove, I thought, “What did I do that was so good that God gave this wonderful man as a present to me?” What possible good could I have done to have such a gift bestowed upon me. I am certain that what my husband does for me is greater than anything I do for him.
My thoughts turned to his relationship with our children. He is the perfect father. In fact I have told my children that when it is time to pick a mate, they should let the way their father treats me be their guide; if they do so, they will not go wrong.
Does my husband have anything that he does that irritates me? Of course he does; but those same things that irritate me are also the same things that make me smile when I think about them. Those irritating flaws in his character are the same characteristics that makes him endearing to me. Those “irritants” may just be the same things that I will miss if he should happen to go away.
My heart swelled with pride and love as I just gazed at the side of my husband’s face. I am truly blessed just to be a part of his life.
Getting Right With God
So often people think that getting right with God is manifested by how often they attend church services or how much money they put in the basket as it is passed around each service. Most well meaning people think that living a religious life gives them a free pass to enter the pearly gates. While living a religious life may or may not keep us out of trouble on this earthly journey, it certainly does not give us a “get out of hell free” pass, if in fact, there is a hell. Religion, in my humble opinion, can be recognized by a set of rules that identifies a particular belief. Each religion, be it Catholic, Methodist, Baptist, etc., has a dogma that is followed to be identified as being a part of that religion.
Spirituality proceeds from the heart and does not have a set of “rules” that must be followed to enter a place of perpetual peace. Spirituality gives the believer a “peace that passes all understanding.” The crazy thing about spirituality is that anyone…..ANYONE… can live a spiritual life if they have a belief in a Power greater than themselves. That’s right, a Buddhist (gasp) can be a spiritual being along with a Catholic, Methodist, or Mormon. Even a person who does not believe in any organized religion can be a spiritual being.
So, in my mind’s eye this is what I see. There is a huge round banquet table in heaven (or any place you’d like to call a place of perfect peace). Sitting around that table is a person of every organized religion and some who have no organized religion. There are rich men and women sitting at the table next to the homeless. At the place of honor is the God of our understanding; however we choose to see Him. All of us are praying and nobody is praying incorrectly. There we all sit, with the God of our understanding; all of us praying in perfect harmony.
What is amazing about this vision? We are all praying to the same God, we just choose to call Him by a different name.
Right Now
Currently, I have a 5 month old male Doberman puppy and a 10 year old male Yorkshire Terrier. Each of my men have very distinct personalities; my puppy is moving continuously and getting into everything under the sun and my old man is more calm and sedate and prefers an afternoon nap rather than chase a ball endlessly in the yard. It goes without saying, of course, that they look entirely different. There is one trait; however, that they share. Both of my men live in the “now”. In fact, every animal I’ve ever loved lived in the “now.” They have no care what happened yesterday or what may or may not happen tomorrow; they are fully focused on what is happening in the moment that they are in. They fully enjoy life in all its majesty.
Living in the “now” is something I have a hard time doing. I live in the future of what might be, I live in the past of what once was, but I rarely live in the present. Generally speaking, I may laugh tomorrow over what was said today because I was too busy thinking of what happened yesterday. Life is happening all around me but I will experience it tomorrow. What if my tomorrow never arrives?
So many pleasures are missed when we don’t experience, in the present, what is happening right at this moment. How many times have I missed the feel of a snowflake on my eyelashes or the sun as it warms my skin? A few months ago as I was stepping out of my car, a slight wind kicked up and blew a shower of colorful autumn leaves down from the trees. I stood in awe at the spectacle before me. The sight was truly a gift from God. A few weeks later my puppy went out in the snow for the first time; as the snow fell from the sky he examined each snowflake as if he would never behold a sight such as this again. He was right there, in the moment. When the the trees rained their leaves around me, I was right there – in the moment.
I need to be in the moment more often. I need to remember vividly those things that can not be bought, borrowed or stolen. I can only remember those things if I experience them in the now.
Sex Education in School
For years and years there has been controversy on whether or not sex education should be taught in schools. Those against teaching sex education in schools argue that it may promote sexual promiscuity; sex is a subject best left up to the parents behind closed doors. Those who are proponents of teaching sex education speak of empowerment with knowledge. The controversy perpetuates but the real sexual education in schools have been hidden for perhaps longer than the controversy.
Recently, the news has abound with allegations of sexual misconduct by educators. People who have had positions of authority are being accused of sexually mistreating their students. The accusations are landed years after the actual incidents because the victims feared embarrassment, humiliation, or retaliation if the acts were made public during the time of the sexual misconduct. Even the fact that the victims didn’t tell of their abuse until they became adults have been controversial. One side may say that the fact that they did not tell until years later proves it did not happen at all; the other side may say that peer pressure kept their victimization underground.
What has really gone underground is the conspiracy. The conspiracy that perpetuates the myth that a school’s reputation is better than the mental and physical health of our children. The “cover-ups” of sexual allegations closely guarded by adults in any school system is appalling. Victimizing the alleged victims by hushing situations is nothing short of criminal.
Currently, a local high school is being accused of covering up sexual misdeeds that spanned quite a few years. Eleven adults and possibly a twelfth are accusing a religious educator/coach of sexually abusing them during high school; the deeds being performed mostly on massage tables and whirlpools after sports injuries. These men, now in their mid 30’s state that “everybody” knew and did nothing to stop the situation except to transfer the educator in question to a monastery when the talk became too hot.
Whether in the classroom or behind the classroom, it seems sex education is more prevalent than is being admitted.
Weight Adjustment Resolutions in the New Year
The holiday eating and drinking frenzy is often followed by a solemn oath to eat more healthy in the new year. Some of us step on the scales with fear and trepidation. The scales, to most of us, is not our friend. We step on it with one eye closed hoping that the number we see will be exactly what we want it to be.
If I said that the general population finds obesity offensive would you be surprised? Would you be surprised that being overweight is every bit, if not more, discriminated against as race or sexual orientation? Would you believe that this person:
is more offensive to most people than this person?
Why?
Each of these people have value and worth. Each of these people have feelings. Each of these people are humans created by a Higher Power. Each of these people have serious health issues. For the most part, only one of them will get sympathy and the other will get criticism. Notice the “www.funnypic.com” words on the picture of the obese woman. What is she doing that is funny? She is merely doing the same thing that another person at any gym may be doing, but since she is “fat” it is funny. I want to say kudos to her for getting up and being more active. For the most part, only one will get “advice” from well-meaning friends and relatives to adjust their weight; the other will more than likely be told (if more clothes are on to cover the obvious) that “I wish I was thin like you.”
As Americans, we are obsessed with the idea that we can not be “too rich or too thin.” Americans value thin despite the fact that we are probably the most overweight people in the world. Maybe we should be more concerned with trying to get as healthy as we can instead of what may or may not be aesthetically pleasing to others. In my humble opinion, weight loss should never be driven by how it makes us look but by how it makes us feel when we are at a healthy weight for our body. Weight loss should be driven by a desire to live as optimally as possible throughout our whole life.
Although I have not been on the extremes of the spectrum, I have been on both sides. I have been overweight and I have been thin. I have been told how much better I would look if I would just lose a little weight and I have been told that “I wish I was as thin as you.” Rarely did people tell me to gain or lose weight because of health; those that did cared about me and not what I looked like.
Silent Screams (and other odd sounds) 