I am a heterosexual. I have been a heterosexual for my whole life. I was married for 40 years and was with the same man for 44 years. I loved him, and he loved me. I say that I’m a heterosexual because apparently it makes a difference who you love. It’s okay to love someone of the opposite sex but not okay to love someone of the same sex. Apparently loving someone of the same sex is offensive to some people and they have no problem shouting it from the roof top.
My youngest daughter is gay. She has been gay her entire 37 years of life. She has been with the same woman for 19 years and has been married to her since it became legal for same sex couples to be married. They love each other; they just happen to be of the same sex.
I have loved watching my daughter’s love grow between her and her spouse. Just like heterosexual couples, they have differences, but they still go to bed at night with each other (and the dogs). They laugh, cry, and depend on each other when going through tough times. That’s what couples who love each other do. They are no different than heterosexual couples. They bleed and cry the same. Sometimes, they cry more than heterosexual couples because they are not accepted by those they love, or those that say they love them.
I’m telling you this story because once again my daughter had to endure hatred from people who professes to love her. It was a direct attack, an attack that not only hurt her (and yes, angered her too) but hurt her spouse, her sister, and me. This attack not only was a personal attack but it was done on social media; a place not meant for airing dirty laundry. These people came to her wedding and gave her their blessing by attending, but it was just a veiled attempt to later criticize her on her life’s choice. Why attend? Have their thoughts on gay marriage changed since the day my daughter got married? I doubt it. Maybe they just wanted to see what a “deviant” wedding looks like. I don’t know.
The more important issue is that these people don’t say they hate “faggots” which would be a kinder thing to do; instead they insert their god’s hatred into the union of two people who clearly love each other. Instead of standing up and saying that they don’t approve they use their god as a shield to spew their hatred. If their god is about hatred, then I don’t want any part of their god. I’d rather touch the robes of my God who is about love and kindness.
Love is love; not to be confused with lust. A lustful relationship may start out with a fire but it is quickly extinguished when trouble comes along. A loving relationship endures and grows. A loving relationship also starts out with a fire, but that fire grows so bright with time it can illuminate the very air that we breathe. Love is not filled with one night stands and the resulting child that may occur; love is first for God, then the spouse, then the child.
I’d like to say that I am proud of the choice my daughter made but just like heterosexuality, homosexuality is not a choice, it is innate. I am; however, proud of the choice my daughter made in a spouse. I am proud that she has been in a loving relationship for 19 years. I am proud that they have stuck together when times where hard for them. I am proud of the person she is. Just like her sexual preference, her choice in a spouse was pre-ordained by God.
It is my belief that you can’t have love without God because God is love. If there is love, then God is there in the midst. I believe that my daughter’s union was blessed by God because there is so much love there. What I can’t believe is that there are still people out there who would condemn her for being in love. Love is love; no matter who you are in love with.
When I was a young mother the only thing that I wished for my children is that they would be happy in life. I got my wish.