Silent Screams (and other odd sounds)

This is what I'm thinking RIGHT NOW. It may not be what I'm thinking tomorrow.

Widow’s Brain

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I suffer from Widow’s Brain.  Don’t laugh! Widow’s Brain is real.  Widow’s brain is a very frustrating phenomena that occurs with grief.  Widows Brain makes you feel like you are in a fog and just going through the motions of life.  I’m not quite sure how long it lasts but I hope it doesn’t last much longer.

Widow’s Brain makes me forget about almost everything.  I forgotten when I was suppose to meet a friend for dinner, I’ve forgotten that I’ve had meetings to attend, and I’ve even forgotten that I’ve signed important contracts.  For someone who has always been sharp and on top of her game, this feeling, this brain, is unnerving.  Can you imagine someone saying to you, “don’t you remember that?” and you have no idea what they are talking about; not a glimmer.

Imagine this for a minute:  You are in an intense, intelligent, conversation with someone and you are just about to drive your point down and all of a sudden, you forget what you are talking about and have to ask the other person, “what were we talking about?” Yes, I say, the struggle is real.

Widow’s Brain even creeps in when I’m cleaning the house.  I’ll put things away never to find them again, well at least not for a long time.  I’ll forget where I put the dust rag and I’ll find it hours later.  Yes, I’ve even misplaced the vacuum for a short period of time.

My dogs; however, love my Widow’s Brain because they sometimes get fed twice for dinner.  No wonder they love me!  They do get a little frustrated when I’ve forgotten that I let them out in my fenced yard and don’t let them back in for awhile; but they let me know when they’ve been out too long by pounding on my door.

I thought for a while that I might have early onset Alzheimers, but my doctor quickly dashed that thought.  He said that with Alzheimers, the person generally does not know they are “slipping away.”  I know that I’m not at the top of my game at times.

Widow’s Brain.  Don’t laugh.  The struggle is real.  I’m just waiting until the fog lifts.  It has too lift.  Right?

Author: seemeye

Wannabe extraordinaire. Genius by birth; fool by nature. A compilation of my life experiences. I think so much it makes my head hurt.

One thought on “Widow’s Brain

  1. We all struggle with something …… prayers that this ends quietly and soon.

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