Recently, I’ve heard more than once, “I’m feeling some kind of way.” In my experience when people say to me they are feeling “some kind of way,” they elude to the fact that what they are feeling is less than comfortable. While I have never used the saying, “I’m feeling some kind of way,” I certainly have experienced the inablilty to label an emotion causing me discomfort. How can I expect the discomfort to leave if I am unable to put a name to the emotion? I have to name it to be able to tame it.
How do I name an uncomfortable emotion of which I am uncertain? How do I put a label on an emotion when I don’t even know what I am feeling? For me, I have to listen to the music of my emotion. I have to allow myself to explore it, research it, investigate it and then own my discovery. I have to settle into the discomfort of what I am feeling and experience it. Yes, this is uncomfortable, but for me a necessary part of my healing process. I have to really listen to my mind’s eye and get in touch with what my mind is telling me. Only after self reflection can I label the emotion of which I was so uncertain. Then and only then can I give it a name…anger, fear, saddness, self pity, jealousy….or whatever the case may be.
Why do I need to name it? It is only when I know what “it” is can I do something about “it.” It is only when I know what emotion I am feeling can I take it apart and separate what is my perceived truth from what is the real truth. When I don’t examine what I am feeling, it is easy for me to lie to myself about what is “the real truth” in any situation. If I lie to myself, I can not hope to ever heal from an uncomfortable situation with any type of permanency. Once I see the emotion for what it is, then, and only then can I do something about it.
Okay, so I’ve felt “some kind of way,” I’ve settled into the discomfort, I’ve examined it, and now I’ve named it. Now what? What can I do with this emotion?
- I can keep the emotion. Keeping the emotion for an extended period of time is my choice. I can choose to waller around in my dis-ease.
- I can blame others for my emotion. It is easy to blame someone else for “making me feel” hurt, angry, sad, lonely or….. The unfortunate thing about blaming another is that it doesn’t really help me. I can’t change what others have done to me or what I perceive others have done to me. This choice only serves to drop me lower into the depths of an uncomfortable emotion because it presumes I don’t have a choice.
- I can ignore my emotions. I can pretend this uncomfortable feeling doesn’t exist or doesn’t “really bother me” but this only serves to push it down into my subconscious only to surface at a later date with vengence.
- I can own my emotions. I can look at what the effects of these emotions are having on me and those around me. I can look to a Power greater than myself to teach me what I am to learn from this experience and to heal me from any discomfort I may be experiencing.
I don’t always like the music I hear but I do know that I have to listen to the music of my emotions before I can begin to understand, heal, and feel good again.